If it ain’t fun, we must be doing it wrong.

That line is straight from the Brains on Fire Tequila Shots book. Belief #10 to be exact and man, do we cherish that one around here.

I have often wondered why lawyers have this crazy, wierd ‘official lawyer talk’.(Neil, Tim, Mitch, Cary, Ted, Michael ” no offense ” you guys got to do what you got to do.)

‘Hereto within you will find’ is one of my all time favorite lawyer set up lines. I seriously got a letter one time from a lawyer that began with those exact set of words. Why is it so much more important or official if it slightly hard to comprehend? Is that the strategy?

We have another belief, keep it simple, that we also cherish. But lets face it, you pay lawyers to help you cover the details and the “what ifs”, so long winded is just part of the solution I suppose.

But what if they could keep it fun?

Well, our very own Spike Jones, Esq. (not officially of course) took it upon himself to do add a little fun to the legal disclaimer our lawyer recommend we put on our site. It’s Friday, so stop a minute (or twelve) and have a laugh!

From our Terms & Conditions:

www.brainsonfire.com (the “Website”) is owned and operated by Brains on Fire, Inc. (”our”, “us” and “we”). Sounds like we’re selfish, doesn’t it? Well, we’re not. It’s the law-dogs talkin’.

By accessing this Website you agree to be bound by these terms & conditions (”terms”). Please read them carefully. IF YOU DO NOT AGREE TO BE BOUND BY THESE TERMS YOU SHOULD NOT ACCESS OR VIEW THIS WEBSITE. In other words, GO AWAY FROM HERE AND NEVER COME BACK. DOES IT SOUND LIKE WE’RE YELLING? WE’RE NOT. IT’S JUST THAT THE CAPS KEY IS STUCK. ITTTTTTTTTTTTT wait, there we go. That’s better.

The information contained in this Website is intended for general information purposes only. We have made all reasonable and unreasonable efforts to ensure that the information on this Website is accurate at the time of inclusion, however we cannot guarantee the accuracy of such information. I mean, come on. This is your standard CYA stuff.

We make no representations or warranties about the information provided through this Website, including any hypertext links to any website or other items used either directly or indirectly from this Website. So, if somehow you get linked to porn, don’t blame us. We didn’t do it and checked on it when we put the link there. We accept no liability for any inaccuracies or omissions in this Website and any decisions based on information contained in this Website are the sole responsibility of the visitor. I mean, you have a brain, don’t you? Use it! The Website is provided on an “as is” and “as available” basis without any representation or endorsement. We accept no liability for any interruptions in your use of the Website. Let’s face it, technology breaks.

The information, designs, content, artwork and images contained within this Website are protected by our copyright or our clients’/licensors’ copyright. You may not frame this Website or publish a hypertext link to any part of it without our express permission in writing. Why did we have to say this? Because we’ve had people rip us off and put our work on their website before. And that’s just wrong. So in addition to sending a gaggle of lawyers after you, we will also hire The A Team to build an unbelievable tank out of an old VW van in about 45 minutes, bust through a garage door and come after you. But don’t worry, The A Team never hurts anyone. But still, we pity the fool that rips us off.

You acknowledge and agree that all trade marks, service marks, trade names, logos and all other intellectual property rights in all material or content contained within the Website shall remain at all times owned by us or our clients/licensors. You are permitted to use this material only as expressly authorized by us. You will obey. BRAINS ON FIRE, FASCINATE INSPIRE REWARD AND ENGAGE, and F.I.R.E. are registered trademarks of Brains on Fire, Inc. Really, they are. Go on, look it up. We spent a lot of time doing the legwork, so believe it.

Inclusion of examples does not imply recommendations or endorsements by client companies. Even though we love our clients. We just had to say that if we find out that they know someone like Bernard Madoff.

You shall not use this Website for any illegal purposes and in particular agree that you shall not send, use, copy, post (or allow anything to be sent, used, copied, or posted) which is defamatory or obscene or which is abusive, indecent or in breach of the privacy of any person. You agree not to send any unsolicited promotional or advertising material, spam or similar materials or any volume messages that may interfere with the operation of this Website or with the enjoyment of this Website by other visitors. (I’m not touching that one because it sounds really scary.)

We reserve the right at any time and without notice to enhance, modify, alter, suspend or permanently discontinue all or any part of this Website and to restrict or prohibit access to it. It’ll happen. Besides, it’s our website and we’ll cry if we want to. I mean, change it if we want to.

You hereby agree to indemnify us against any costs, claims, losses and damages (including legal fees) incurred by or awarded against us as a result of your use or misuse of this Website or your breach of these terms. Word.

At our discretion, we may suspend or block your access to this Website and refuse to provide you with any further access to it. So don’t be mean, will ya? Mean people suck.

This Website is provided to you free of charge, and neither we nor any of our subsidiary or affiliated companies accept any liability to you whether in contract, tort (including negligence) or otherwise, arising out of or in connection with this Website. We accept no liability for any direct, special, indirect or consequential damages, or any other damages of whatsoever kind however arising through the use of the Website or any information obtained either directly or indirectly from this Website. Your sole remedy is to discontinue using this Website.

These terms may be amended by us from time to time at any time and without prior notice and the changes will become effective immediately after posting the revised terms. See? We’re tricky like that. You can review the most current version of the terms at any time at www.brainsonfire.com. They’ll be here for you 24/7. You are responsible for checking periodically for changes and your continued use of this Website indicates your acceptance of the new terms. If you like that sort of thing, have it. But we like the other sections of the website a lot better than this one. (No offense, law-dogs.)

Your use of this Website and downloads from it, and the operation of these terms, shall be governed in accordance with the laws of the State of South Carolina. The South Carolina federal and state courts shall have exclusive jurisdiction over any dispute arising out of your use of this Website. And really, do you mess with the state of South Carolina? We’re so far behind, we’re ahead. And that could mean bad news for you either-way.

Thus ends the reading of the terms and conditions. If you have any questions, we’re sorry. But we don’t have the answers.